people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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