let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
