It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
