I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
