Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
