I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
