So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
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