just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
