Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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