my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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