I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
