I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
