how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
