Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
