not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
