No awkward lesbian experiences without me
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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