It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
