This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I love you. Go after that dick
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
