ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize