I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
