what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
