i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
