Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
