90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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