i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
