why didn't you poke me back
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
