It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
porn star boner night. come get it.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
