Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
