Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
