we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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