She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
