we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
