I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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