Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize