I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
