Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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