he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
