at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
