tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Fuck appropriateness.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize