he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
