thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
