It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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