Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize