upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
