Just fell off a train. Bad.
so explain again why im purple
no
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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