I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
