Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize
