but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
