I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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