This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize