if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Randomize
