Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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