We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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