I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
