Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
