how can u be prego again
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
