i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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