question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Randomize
