drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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