I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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