So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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