i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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