So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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