oh god the rape fog is back!
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Randomize
