why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
