So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
